Change Your Money Story into a Love Story
photo by Tax Credits
I’m eight years old, standing in front of the refrigerator looking at the child support check from my father. My mother grouses over my shoulder “It’s late again and it’s not enough.” Thirty years later, Monica Shah asks me “How does that make you feel?”
Money doesn’t grow on trees.
Money is the root of all evil.
Time is money and love is bullshit.
Ever hear any of these phrases? Perhaps you’ve heard your parents, your spouse, a friend or a co-worker rattle off one of these common money catchphrases.
In its simplest form, money is a thing – paper, coins, a transaction. Yet more often than not we think of money and can’t help but wrap it up in our own emotional packaging.
We’ve all got money issues, right? Either there’s not enough or there’s too much or we’re spending it the wrong way. I thought I had a good relationship with money until I went to Monica Shah’s More Money Tour last month. If you have the opportunity to attend one of Monica’s events, I highly recommend it.
She completely changed my perspective on money and my relationship with it. From practical, actionable advice to major mindset shifts, Monica is worth her weight in gold. She’s got an amazing knack for helping people figure out their money story . . . and reprogramming a lifetime’s worth of bad money mojo into a positive and powerful money mantra in mere minutes.
Here’s the thing. I like having money. I don’t feel bad or guilty about having it. What I dislike though is spending money. I rather see my savings account get fat than spend money on anything other than essentials.
Monica helped me see that my hidden money story has held me hostage in ways I didn’t even realize. Luckily, she helped me work through it rather quickly and sent me off with the custom-fit money mantra “Love is money and money is love.” Whenever I’m uneasy about decisions that I think – or know – will impact my family, I find strength, courage and faith in my new money story.
How did your parents talk about or deal with money? Has that affected the way you feel about money today? Leave a comment and let me know about your money story.
Great article Gayle! Isn’t it amazing how powerful words can be. They conjure up images which play like movies over and over in our minds. Change your money story, change the movie. Then instead of seeing suspense and drama play out over and over again, you finally get a shot a happy ending!
Heather, you’re a metaphor master! Thanks for the comment. Our inner dialogue can build us up or tear us down, and often we don’t even realize it’s happening. Wayne Dyer first opened my eyes to this when I heard him talk about memes in Excuses Be Gone.
Great post Gayle- (and I love Heather’s comment too!)
I grew up with mixed messages around money. Coming from a family of six on a teacher and nurse’s salary I remember Friday nights being left over night and a big night out was going to Burger King. My mother made a lot of our clothes, curtains and grandmother made our sweaters.
My father was a saver and mother was a spender – and I realize I’m split down the middle too. I’ve always been a firm believer in saving money yet I never think twice about investing in education and experiences (for myself or my family).
I remember hearing how money is energy – I choose to think of it as positive vs. negative energy.
Jeannie,
Thank you for sharing your story. I can see how being frugal would be important for a big family with a modest salary. Only just recently have I been a bit freer about spending money and realizing that spending can be a good thing when done wisely. My Nana once told me that when I was about 3 or 4 years old — years before the child support incident — she took me to a toy store. According to her, I pondered quite deliberately and when I finally picked a toy — a single toy, I yelled down the aisle “Nana, is this too expensive?” Where does a preschooler even get that? Perhaps I picked that up from other people’s money energy. Interesting . . .
What a way you have with words! I had the unique experience of sitting next to my mom while Monica went over that presentation. We had quite an interesting lunch, I tell you. My dad was a spender (on what, I don’t know, because we never seemed to have anything) and my mom was a saver. I have a really hard time spending more than $20 on anything until the last few years of my corporate career. Now, I’d rather spend my money on experiences than stuff, to show people that I enjoy spending time with them, rather than clutter up their space with something that I think they might need.
Boy Wendy, we seem to be cut from the same cloth. I too would much rather invest in experiences than things. I really dislike clutter too. I’m constantly telling relatives that we don’t need more stuff. Of course, when you have kids, people like to buy them stuff. Our kids love to be outdoors and go places so I’d love it if our relatives would foster that through their gift-giving. I suspect their own money stories are driving the way they like to give to our kids.
This is a great piece, Gayle. Our mind is constantly fighting for control over the spirit..especially the money conversation! You really opened my eyes. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Thanks DeShawn. Isn’t it amazing how our overdrive minds can muck things up? Going to Monica’s event truly opened my eyes too. I had no idea that this latent memory was holding so much power over me.